


The Little Axe

by Angry_Moth



Category: World of Warcraft
Genre: Crack, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, Please Kill Me, Self-Indulgent, What Have I Done
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-17 01:48:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29342325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angry_Moth/pseuds/Angry_Moth
Summary: A tale as old as time, this is the story of an axe who fell in love... with an orc.Or, a remake of "The Little Mermaid" that takes place on Azeroth.
Relationships: Garrosh Hellscream/Gorehowl
Kudos: 2





	The Little Axe

**Author's Note:**

> Please read the tags. They speak for themselves.
> 
> I know I was supposed to continue one of my series, but oh well, I wasn't feeling up to it so this happened. I don't even know how. 
> 
> But I will go down with this ship. 
> 
> So please, enjoy this awesome love story. Or forever hate me for making this. Whichever works for you guys.

Once upon a time there was a sad little axe. For oh-so many years, she had watched her beloved without being able to tell him those three little words that could change everything. 

I love you. 

I love you, Garrosh Hellscream. 

Gorehowl sighed longingly (inwardly, of course, since she didn’t have a mouth. Which was exactly her biggest problem.). 

But no worries, for Gorehowl had a solution! She would, one night, sneak out the Grommash Hold to meet with a famous orc warlock. She would ask (no, demand!) him to turn her into a beautiful girl that even Garrosh couldn’t resist! 

Finally, after many sleepless nights lying beside his one true love, after all those moments spent on pondering her plan, Gorehowl found the strength to execute it. She sneakily hopped out of the huge building and into a shop owned by the warlock Grog-Grog Axewhisperer. 

Grog-Grog proved worthy of his name (last name, that is): he was the only one who could, with no effort, understand what Gorehowl desired. 

“What’s that, little axe?” he asked in a creepy voice that sent a shiver down Gorehowl’s shaft. “You wish to become a cute elfling so that you can seduce the mighty Warchief?” 

The axe nodded (as well as an axe could, anyways) eagerly. 

“Very well, I can do that. For a price, naturally. Yes... I can turn you into a beautiful blood elf. But that body will belong to ME!” 

Gorehowl shook her petite frame. Her body would only belong to her master. 

The warlock sighed. “Oh well... How about this: should Garrosh Hellscream choose to not claim you as his own in the next three days, you will belong to me. 

Gorehowl accepted the deal in an instant. There was no way Garrosh would reject her. 

“Goooood...” the orc whispered, waving his dark green hand in the air. In a flash, Gorehowl’s entire length was enveloped in an equally dark green, thick fog. But instead of the iconic axe, a beautiful elf emerged from it. 

Her skin was brown just as Garrosh’s, and she had long, flowing black-grey hair. Slowly, she first opened her piercing green eyes, and then, her petite mouth. 

...but no sound came out. 

“Oh, I forgot to warn you, little thing. Axes can’t speak, no matter what form they take.” 

Gorehowl tried (and failed) to growl. 

But that wouldn't matter, she decided afterwards when she walked out of the cursed shop. Garrosh would fall for her either way.

* * *

The very next morning, Gorehowl "accidentally" bumped into Garrosh.

"Who dares to - " Garrosh screeched before laying his eyes on the beautiful lady.

"Oh... eh, well hello there!" he continued smoothly while wiggling his eyebrows. "You look lost, m'lady. I bet you could use some help from your generous Warchief..."

Gorehowl gave the orc an enthusiastic nod.

"You can't talk?" Garrosh, ever-so-observant (just like a good Warchief should be), inquired. Gorehowl merely offered him a sad smile.

"Oh, that's okay babe, I like my women as I like my beer: delicious and quiet. Now, shall I show you my awesome house?"

Gorehowl placed her small yet strong fingers on Garrosh's extended arm, careful not to seem too eager. She had some class, after all.

"By the way, have you met the Banshee Queen, that bitch Sylvanas? She always talks so much, you have no idea how angry it makes me! It's cool that you're a more silent type. Gosh, I hate her so much! And her people, too, those weird bony plague-lovers. And don't get me started on the trolls, especially that smelly old..."

Gorehowl sighed soundlessly, a happy sigh, and she leaned against her rambling beloved as they walked towards Grommash' Hold.

Everything would work out just fine.

Or so she thought.

**Author's Note:**

> Will Garrosh fall in love? Will they live happily ever after? Or will Gorehowl lose her body to a perverted old warlock? Will we ever know??
> 
> The next (and final) part of this horrible, horrible crack-fic will be released sometime this week. Probably. So we'll probably know what happens then.


End file.
